Fade To 4:39am

Fade to 4:39am and this ambiguous structure of words that need to be stretched out, stripped out, and then torn out to extrapolate the pain floating in my head.

Who knew laying in bed since 9pm would make 4:39am so deadly? To be awake, to be energized, but then to be surrounded by inactivity or the inability to be active, is destructive.

It is in 4am – I can’t do anything.

So, I think. Thinking is dangerous.

Dramatically. I’m thinking of her.

I thought I was thinking of her because I wanted to see if there was a way to win her back. I know getting back together would be detrimental to both our happiness right now. But, what I do know is that I have a few images I’m unable to fight back. Images of her.

Here are a few memories I’ll never be able to let go:

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Impact

I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough getting back into the groove of making content for my YouTube channel, Facebook page, Instagram, and any other social media site I’m living on at the moment. I keep on saying to myself that “I’m going to write tomorrow…” “I’m going to film this weekend…” “I’m going to have a mission statement NEXT week.”

Then, I delay all of these plans by chalking them up to excuses of work, lack of money, lack of time, and sleep deprivation.  Well, for some odd reason I told myself that enough is enough. It was time to get started on producing content again!

However… for the past few hours I’ve been trying to make something, anything, for any of my aforementioned media channels, and I’ve been deleting everything I’ve been posting. In addition, I need to head back to work soon…

So.

Here I am.

Writing.

It is my hope that this blog post is the fuel I need to start my momentum content producing train.

Before I continue, I’m going to make something very clear, I’m not lazy… when it comes to OTHER PEOPLE’S PROJECTS and WORK. For example, right now I manage four high-level internet youtube / facebook celebrities. In fact, I’m building a business around this concept.

But when it comes to my own content… I’m lazy. I do nothing to help my own image shine. This needs to stop because at any moment my clients can die, let me go, or vanish to another agency. Also, even though I love what I do for others (and it gives me a way to live), my personality belongs in front of the camera…

It’s not about being famous. It’s about using the talents that someone (God) gave me to make an impact on the people I interact with.

What do I mean?

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