A few weeks ago I relapsed and I gambled.
For those who don’t know I have a gambling problem and I made the grave mistake of going to a casino, withdrawing three hundred dollars from the ATM, and blowing it all away on poker.
Old habits die hard.
I have this belief that though bad things happen to me all time. I’m talking my car getting stolen, getting fired, having the IRS freeze all my assets, and the list continues…
However, the consequences that take place when I gamble, are consequences that end up being destructive to myself and others. I’m talking the things that happen after I gamble are. just. fucking horrible.
I have no idea why I write in the wee hours of the night or morning.
How do I explain this? How do I put it?