What are you pursuing? What are you doing to obtain these goals? Are you allocating your time right? Are you working hard in the right direction?
Let me explain
A few hours ago I was having a mental breakdown. It’s because of a collection of things: from producing all the moving parts for a self-made YouTube video, directing such YouTube video, to being the video, and then planning next steps to edit then publish said video… can be quite emotionally draining. And, this was only the first part of my day.
The second part of my day (after my hour nap) was staring at a screen as I tried to figure out how to take 3 hours of footage and squeeze it into an entertaining 15-20 minute YouTube video.
My mind was racing… I thought “if I don’t finish this and if this video doesn’t get views then I won’t amount to anything.” To top it all off, my bank account is slowly dwindling, which stressed me out thinking of the amount of the main hustle I have to do next week…
I broke down.
I cried inside.
I didn’t know what to do…
I didn’t finish the video…
I felt like a failure.
I felt small.
I felt as if I didn’t belong anywhere.
Here I am – supposed to “balance” everything all for the chance of pursuing my dream of becoming an influential personality – and I’m failing. So I called a friend and I’m calm now (well calmer).
This is what we talked about…
Lining Up Your Assets Into The Proper Channels
As it being 1:52 am in the morning and I don’t really want to be thorough with my writing. I’ll break this down using what I want and what I’m doing slash supposed to be doing.
My Goal is to become an influential personality. To be specific, I want to be a working actor in the entertainment industry. It would be great to be a Robin Williams or a Anthony Bourdain. I understand it sounds funny when I’m writing it all out for the public to see… however this is what I strive for… it’s always been there in my heart, but now I’m taking action to these goals.
I started an acting class.
I’m surrounding myself with friends who have and are currently work.
I’m learning and soaking up as much as I can…
However, the past decade has taught me that if the only way to make it in this industry, especially as an Asian-American, is I must be big on social media. I must have a following. I must have viral hit after viral hit.
But then… wait.
Was it that I like to do?
What am I good at?
I like to be in front of people (either on stage or in real life) and without thinking of where the cameras are at… I like to interact with the people around me… either as a character or in an ensemble or just myself as the goal to make others feel good. Yes, simply, make them feel good.
Time and time again, I’ve proven to be successful at this… however, it is physically draining. This means the only way my talent can be in tip-top shape, is if I do all I can to focus on how to maximize the energy to produce such talent.
It requires sleep.
It requires me to de-stress (so my head is clear).
It requires time.
It requires work.
It requires research.
It requires practice.
And, how can I do all these things when I’m stressing over the other things that take my time away from working on and using this “main” talent that I have? Hiding away in the editing booth – pushing for an arbitrary deadline is absurd when my main talent isn’t editing or filming.
I’m not saying don’t do those things, but I should be more aware where my strengths lie and I shouldn’t be killing myself in the way that I am. Why am I killing myself? I’m killing myself thinking it’ll produce assets (views and likes) that I can use to contact people to hire me for these acting gigs.
When in fact, I have the asset already… myself.
And, as I’ve learned in the last couple of months, if I put myself up on screen and allow other people to do the directing and editing… I’ll be just fine. The idea is then, “how do I maximize the asset I already have to the proper channels.”
I shouldn’t lock myself up in a room editing.
I should be taking my time (besides working on my craft) to e-mail agencies, to work on my reel, to take classes with casting directors (a good way to network as well), to research the characters I’m playing in my scenes.
I should be spending most of my time maximizing what I already have to go where I want to go. I think we always think we must do xyz to get xyz. However, we often forget that many people get where they want to go by maximizing what they already have.
I’ve been working and currently still working on my personality. I have the ability to walk in a room and charm anyone I meet. It is unfortunate, but when I’m producing, directing, filming, and editing… that charm disappears. And, I need that charm to be able to be seen.
Therefore, I don’t think stressing over an editing job is the right way to go about my day. Rather, I should be focusing on my efforts that pertain to my talent.
Does this make sense?
It’s 2:12am now.
I’m basically saying:
you can’t do everything, so the best way to get closer to your goal is to be completely honest with yourself. What is your talent. What is your truth. Who are YOU! Then, once you figure that out, do everything you can to make sure people SEE that talent of yours.
Do you think Oprah sat around in an editing room? No – she did everything she could to make sure she was in front of the camera and when she was, because she put in the time and she knew who she was, she was able to do her job effortlessly… to the highest caliber.
How does this fit with me?
I’m still going to do my YouTube channel.
But I’m going to focus my health, wealth, and anytime I have FIRST to doing all I can to put myself in front of people who are willing to take me on as a personality in their projects.
This means that I would rather e-mail 50 agencies, work on reel, work on my characters, than sit down – alone in a room – editing a YouTube video that may or may not become a hit. I still have to do what I have to do, but now that I know my priorities, at least I have a better sense of what’s important and where my stress needs to be directed to…
Thanks for listening.
It’s 2:18am and there might be grammatical errors. But for now, I feel happier and tomorrow will be a better day. I know I’ll be editing, but with this vision that I have, I’m not going to put too much pressure on perfecting every single ounce of this video because I have a feeling it won’t be the thing that will catapult where I want to go…
Rather it’s going to be a collection of everything that I put together (perfect or not) that will get me where I need to go…
You can’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Not everything is riding on one thing.
I hope this makes sense.
I’ll read it in the morning and I’ll laugh.
But right now – it makes sense to me