Not Everyone Is A Winner (How It’s Affecting My Decision To Run A Company)

Recently I read an article by Daniel Negreanu, a world-renowned poker professional, who through his analysis of critiquing another poker player’s view on the game said,

Truth is, most of you reading this, will be lifetime losers at poker. You are unlikely to become successful professional poker players. It is available to all of you, and some of you will find success at the tables, but the truth is clear: most of you will fail. Sucks huh?”

Either it’s because I’m listening to alternative emotional rock music or my meds are not kicking in correctly, but I really resonate with that paragraph. The idea to hear a top poker professional tell the world that most of us… or in this case reminding me – that I AM NOT or will ever be a winning player – floored me in a position where I don’t want to gamble anymore. Why? because he’s fucking right.

I have / had this weird psychological fucked-up mindset where I could be a winning player in poker. I’m going to be honest, as I’ve said many times before – I’m not a winning play in poker.

I have an addictive gambling personality that I will keep playing for hours upon days upon weeks until I lose everything. I’ve said this before but gambling has ruined a big portion of my life.

I feel like crying. In fact I have cried about this already but I wish I never ever took up cards. It’s not even about the money, it’s just about the time of my life that I gave away in the process of playing cards. Anyway, I’m not here to repeat what I said in my gambling article. I want to tell you that “not everyone is a winner.” No matter how far you come, no matter how hard you work, no matter what you do… many times (sometimes) you just won’t win.

Here we go…
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My Disease Called Gambling

I have a gambling problem.

I’m writing this because I find if I make this issue public I’ll be able to get a better grip of my problem. It’s not only a need – I WANT to stop this horrible habit because it is ruining me financially.

I know I would be about $100,000 richer and done more productive-meaningful things in my life (time wasted) if I didn’t gamble.

It is SUPER CRUCIAL that I must stop this time because I’m starting my own business venture this summer. Every cent I spend must be spent wisely towards a business purchase / decision. I am fortunate that, till September 2014, I will have steady income being deposited into my bank account.

However afterwards – gulp.

Therefore, I am telling you that I have a gambling problem. I’m going to tell you my story of why I got into it, what it has destroyed, and how I will fix it altogether. I hope sharing this will help anyone else who is dealing with compulsive disastrous habit(s) / disease(s) such as gambling.

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