Car Accident

I must have pressed the backspace on this keyboard at least 100 times already. Word after word, sentence after sentence, deleted. It’s funny because the wordpress interface is one of my favorite places to write my thoughts and right now, right now I’m having the most difficult time organizing my thoughts to create paragraphs.

I blame it on the car accident. It happened a few weeks ago. I’ll get into it in a few, but at this very second, I’m trying to write.

To begin, I’m starting from scratch. I’m forcing myself to write down the exact steps I’m taking to write down the words you’re reading at this very moment. This can be seen as “meta” and in a way “cheating” – but it’s the only way I can start revving the momentum train back to self-producing.

Self-Producing? 

The car accident has left me stunned, shocked, and uninspired to do anything for myself. I say the word, “myself,” because I’m still producing and editing content for other companies and brands.

I’m still leading a class where I’m teaching others how to go viral on Facebook. And, I’m still writing sketches and scripts for other influencers. Hell, I’m going to brag a little bit and say that one of my videos just hit 22 million views today!

Though these tasks help pay my rent, I’m lost when it comes to MY work. MY Youtube channel. MY Facebook page. The ability to self-produce content ANYWHERE is lacking spark.

So.

Here I am.

Doing what I can.

To rev this engine back up again.

There are orange plugs in my ears. The laptop is nestled on top of a pillow, which snuggles nicely on top my lap. My fingers are resting ontop of the keyboard. I’m strapped in and ready to go! I’m writing again. I’m fucking writing again.

Holy shit. I’m writing again.

Let me start by writing about the car accident.

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Validation: The Goal of Every Artist

The other day while teaching my “how to go viral on Facebook” class, one of my students asked me what the goal of my work was: “as an artist, do you like going viral because you can see that your work is being affirmed?”

Before I begin typing my answer away, I’m going to express that I love the wordpress user interface. There is something so beautiful writing on the wordpress UI. It’s sleek, it’s sexy, it seems easier to type into than a word document. The ease of my fingertips gliding against the letters on my keyboard to the visual punch of each punctuation, each word, each sentence, is tantalizing.

I was about to say titillating, ah fuck it, it’s arousing.  Watching these words form in this wordpress UI hits every every erogenous zone so much so that double entendres and innuendos don’t stand a chance.

Anyway, back to the student’s question. It was a great question because I had to pause the class for a solid 2-3 minutes to think of an answer. This is a written response of my response:
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How To Overcome The Fears of Rejection: a response for a high school student who is applying to college

Prologue: 

Ever since I wrote a detailed post about “How to Get Into UC Berkeley” I’ve received hundreds of e-mails from students requesting I proofread their personal statements: I always try take the time to help! I’ve met many wonderful students in the process & I’ve even met a few in real life!

A few days ago, I received a different type of letter. This student had an inquiry about the fears of rejection & how to accept rejection. It couldn’t come at a better time (b/c I’m going through a failed project at the moment) & thought it would be best to write my response through a post.

Letter from The Wonderful Student in Florence: 

katheryn.rejection

Kathryn – this blogpost is for you! Alright, let’s start this thing!

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Keep Pushing Forward: Dealing with Struggles

Before I begin I want to say I received a wonderful comment from my last post. Here it is:

keeppushing

I really needed this comment (thank you Kirsten) because the video she is talking about, the current video I posted this morning, was one of the hardest shoots I’ve ever done in my entire life: it took over 2.5 months to conceptualize the idea, 4 weeks to shoot (4 days of shooting), spent over $500 to make it happen, had audio issues on two days, camera issues on the next, got kicked out of a campus on the last day of shooting (unusable UCSD footage), and it took over 35 hours of editing because I had four different ways of telling the video’s story.

Let’s begin…

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The Decision: A Risk for Creative Art

“Jonathan, working full-time here means you cannot work on any of your side projects. You can no longer uber, you can no longer do YouTube, you can no longer work on anything else but PlayTable.”

I sat there listening to my friend’s words and my heart sank. I’ve known him since 2009, been working with him on many projects since 2011, and since late 2014, started the journey of working on this new project that led me from LA to the Bay Area. This current project is called, PlayTable.xyz. It’s an all-in-one board game console, which can play every single board & card game in the world: we’re creating the soul for board & card games everywhere.

“As a friend, I understand your situation. But, as the CEO of this company I need you here all the time.” I replied asking if I could get one day off to work on my side projects. “No. Jonathan, we’re crowdsourcing in 5 months. I need you here.”

He gave me a weekend to think about my decision. I sent him an e-mail last Monday and apologized. Yes, I decided to not work with PlayTable in the capacity expected of me, and I’ll tell you why I made the decision…

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