Making & Connecting with Friends

A week ago a reader emailed me asking me to write a post:

I think it would be cool to hear more advice on making friends. I know you have a post on networking though. I love hearing about networking advice though lol. Personally though, I struggle with connecting with people and making friends, and you seem like someone who knows a lot about that.

I think this reader gives me a little too much credit in this department. I’ve been thinking about this subject and I’ve realized the one thing this reader has to understand is that making and connecting with friends are two very different concepts. I believe making friend is one of the easiest things one can do in life, it requires little or no effort. Connecting with a friend is harder because it requires more time and trust with both parties involved. However, the main thing to keep in mind is that for both things to happen you cannot go in trying to be friends with anybody: you need to let it happen naturally.

As you can see there are three concepts we’re going to analyze and go through. Let’s begin.

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If She Calls You Dude. You’re in the Friendzone.

I spent the last 30 minutes grocery shopping with my partner at Trader Joes. We’re a cooking couple and she buys so many absurd healthy things that when I eat her food my bowel movements become very solid – blissful events: not too soft, not too hard, and not so abundant. Perfection.

As we were shopping around I noticed that we both called each other “Honey.” “Honey can you hand me the almond butter.” “Honey could you help me with this.” “Honey blah blah.” You get the idea. I’m observing the syntax of our verbal exchange when I remember something that my friend says to his partner.

Me: Honey, did you know that XXXX calls his girlfriend Dude.

Her: Okay. So?

Me: Well, don’t you think that’s offensive? I would never call you Dude.

Her: I wouldn’t be offended. It’s just a word.

Me: But the word “Dude” represents friendship, connotes Friendzone. When I say to a girl, “what up DUDE?” I’m automatically putting her in the Friendzone.

Her: That’s your opinion. But there’s nothing saying that you’re putting someone into the friendzone if you call them Dude. It’s just a word. I don’t feel like we’re discussing, I feel like we’re debating.

After a few more minutes of scuffling…

Her: We’re going nowhere. Let’s drop it.

Me: Alright, but I’m going to write this on my blog.

Why The Word “DUDE” Should NOT Be Used on Your Partner
Continue reading “If She Calls You Dude. You’re in the Friendzone.”