Being a writer is really tough because many times you’re wasting valuable moments of your life… writing. For example, I wrote 40,000 words, from the summer of 2013 to the end of 2014, on a potential novel I’m putting together. Unfortunately, after reviewing it I realize that I hate the first half of the book. I’m going to rewrite the first part altogether and it will probably take 8 months to complete this task.
In addition, yesterday I tried writing a new Thought Catalog piece (to get back on the horse to accomplish my 2015 writing goals) and I realized that after 5 hours of writing the piece led nowhere. There wasn’t enough examples, it wasn’t concrete enough, the idea was there but it didn’t have substance. Thought Catalog is all about relationship, love, millennial (generation y) catharsis, and stories involving love / relationships. And, my piece was far removed from being a hit.
It hurts because sometimes I just feel like I’m wasting my time. I will say that it’s really easy to write on this blog because the audience are people who already know me. It’s not for the masses, it’s for you, the 30ish people who read this blog everyday (haha. I know. So small). Last month I only had 800 unique visitors who scrolled through my site. Once I thought it to be pathetic that I averaged so little viewers.
But now I feel it a good thing because we’ve become a close nit group of people who aren’t really judging me in a negative light. You are all here to read my personal journey in life. In fact, there are even a few consistent commenters who I’ve actually reached out to via email or some other social media channel. So, thank you. Thank you to the ones reading and commenting. It means a ton.
I will say I’ve gotten a few haters (whose comments were quite hurtful) but that’s okay. It’s more love than hate here. Again, thank you.
As I write this piece I’m realizing why it’s so easy to write here than for Thought Catalog (and my novel). It’s because I don’t care what others think of what I’m trying to say here. I know the ones reading are the ones who like me and the ones who don’t know me just don’t give a fuck and won’t comeback. I’m not trying gratify the masses… just you.
With Thought Catalog (and other blogs) and my novel I feel like I need to write something special to apiece the masses. I’m not thinking that maybe this could be the wrong mentality. Maybe I shouldn’t give a shit and just write. Who cares if the piece goes viral? What matters is that I just write a quality piece – grammatically and coherently. If it spreads, great. If not, no biggie. At least I was being real.
As much as I want to follow my advice & DGAF (don’t give a fuck) from what people think of my work. There will always be something in my head that wishes the piece does well. Oh well. I can’t overthink this thing. I’m going to try to write for the sake of writing. I’m not going to try to be spectacular and write some “profound” piece about things like how our current state of affairs is about shoving blame to others. I’m not going to try to write about political issues or love stories that I don’t give a shit about.
I’m just going to write.
In fact, I’ll finish a new Thought Catalog article right now and submit it (if not by the end of the day at least tomorrow). I’ll update you if it goes well (or if it doesn’t).
By the way, I’m a little pleased with myself. I just wrote two gaurano.com blog posts in two days (the minimum is one blog post a week). I think this NO SEX CHALLENGE will be a very good thing for my productivity.
Thanks for reading.
Talk to you soon.