Hey. It’s 4:04am

It’s 4:04 and I’m writing not for the sake of writing.
I’m writing so I can live for a second.
so I can breathe for a second.
so I can close my eyes and turn these nightmares into something of hope for a second.

hmm

I really don’t know if “hope” is the right word. All I know is that in this moment, there is silence. There isn’t clacking and clicking of the obvious distractions that lead us astray from creating what we’re supposed to create. There is silence… and the silence is so loud.

It’s noisy
It’s keeping me awake

I have to learn to sit in it and let it pass.

I don’t really have the energy to explain all the fears, the regrets, the everything… ya know? I just need to use this keyboard as my punching bag right now. I’m just here to write. I have no idea where it’s going to go, but what I do know is that there are wrinkles on my forehead and bags under my eyes… screaming to go away.

I’ll figure it out.

Thank you for listening
On a couch – 4:37 am