I Miss Handshakes

In my notebook, on my whiteboard, and inside the crevices of my brain… I have a list of subjects that I tell myself I should write. Grand topics, with wonderful subjects, eliciting grander that showcases every facet of my marketing prowess.

I’m talking titles like, “How I Made my Client $72,000 in Five Days”, to “How I Grew a TikTok Account from Zero to 1.6 million followers in 3 months”…¬†

I’m told I should write about these subjects because it’ll further legitimize my marketing brand, which in turn will increase business towards the ad-agency I’m building, and more importantly, be one of those articles that could also give me long-lasting social recognition in the marketing world.

I should. I love talking about marketing with my other peers. I love deconstructing marketing campaigns. It’s addicting. Yet, when I open this website, my website, I can’t help but think of more pressing issues that need to be addressed.

I’m talking handshakes.

fucking handshakes 

Yes, I miss going up to somebody and shaking their hand. I miss the hand to hand contact, the slide of the palm, the up and down motion, and then the takeaway. It is in those few seconds that you begin to truly understand a person. Are they my enemy? Are they an ally? Are they a sociopath? Can they be trusted?

You can answer all these questions in a handshake.

It’s a vibe. It’s the fluidity of their energy to yours.

I’m being serious when I say that I’ve learned over 17 different variations of handshakes that can be matched to certain regions of the United States. For example, a California bay area native might slide from palm to fingers and then end with a snap. Someone from Brooklyn New York might grasp the other person’s fingers tightly so the two hands in a way become one, and with a swift force, the hands go down together. It’s fucking beautiful.

There are moments where the handshake turns into a half hug, or a pound, or even a fucking bow. (In fact, the handshake I teach people ends up in a Japanese bow, it’s a special one and usually brings about a chuckle.) But, what do I do now?

I’m an extrovert, I’m an ENFJ, my love language is physical touch (and of course words of affirmation)… so basically what I’m saying is that I give, and gain life from a handshake.

I’m not going to lie, I’m re-reading this right now (as I write), and there is a massive smile on my face, while also rolling my eyes in laughter. I’m thinking to myself, “what the hell did I just write?” I don’t know… hahaha.

All I know is this, I miss handshakes a lot. I miss hugs. I miss touch. Personally, for me, physical touch is the most powerful way to connect with anyone.


We no longer have that right now.

God damn, I miss handshakes.

Thanks for listening.
Los Angeles, CA
In my room, which is inside of a garage.

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