If She Calls You Dude. You’re in the Friendzone.

I spent the last 30 minutes grocery shopping with my partner at Trader Joes. We’re a cooking couple and she buys so many absurd healthy things that when I eat her food my bowel movements become very solid – blissful events: not too soft, not too hard, and not so abundant. Perfection.

As we were shopping around I noticed that we both called each other “Honey.” “Honey can you hand me the almond butter.” “Honey could you help me with this.” “Honey blah blah.” You get the idea. I’m observing the syntax of our verbal exchange when I remember something that my friend says to his partner.

Me: Honey, did you know that XXXX calls his girlfriend Dude.

Her: Okay. So?

Me: Well, don’t you think that’s offensive? I would never call you Dude.

Her: I wouldn’t be offended. It’s just a word.

Me: But the word “Dude” represents friendship, connotes Friendzone. When I say to a girl, “what up DUDE?” I’m automatically putting her in the Friendzone.

Her: That’s your opinion. But there’s nothing saying that you’re putting someone into the friendzone if you call them Dude. It’s just a word. I don’t feel like we’re discussing, I feel like we’re debating.

After a few more minutes of scuffling…

Her: We’re going nowhere. Let’s drop it.

Me: Alright, but I’m going to write this on my blog.

Why The Word “DUDE” Should NOT Be Used on Your Partner
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