This is a personal blog so I get to write what I want to write… right? I recently wrote a post about 7 hours ago. The post is about how yesterday was a very shitty viral day for me. Since writing that post I’ve been unable to sleep because I’ve been thinking about the lack of success I’ve had in my life. I’m not talking about the success of normal jobs or making money. I’m merely talking about my own personal goals of accomplishing my dreams: creating art and works that move hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people.
Right now, well for the past few years, I’ve been helping others accomplish these goals for their brand.
Listen, I love(d) my job of building other people’s brands. But I’m selfish and I would like to also do the samel. My goals and dreams coincide with the fact that I’m not seeking attention (maybe a little), I’m rather merely affirmations. Like –
“Good Job! You’re doing great Jonathan, your stories are making me smile, your work motivates me, your art inspires me, what you do is why I get up in the morning…”
It’s one of the greatest feelings in the world to know that you’re changing someone’s life… for the better. In can as simple as a giggle or a grin… the fact is, I’m changing someone’s life. My golden years was from 18 – 21. I felt like I was doing things and putting myself in situations where I was changing lives.
In college (UC Berkeley) I was part of a recruitment and retention center that outreached to under-resourced communities -> we mentored these students (from middle school to community college), we gave them resources, we stayed in touch, and we watched them grow get into college and I’ve seen a few graduate. In addition, I worked 3 nightshift jobs working with people who taught to never take for granted my college education: they were my friends as they understood me as I understood them. They got me. It made sense. Lastly, I was a big part of the school’s student body (I’ll talk about this in later years), I did some great stuff and actually helped a big community on the campus (mainly Physical and Mentally challenged students).
But, as I always say: you’re remember for what you’re doing right now, not what you did. If your past was the best time of your life than you’re not truly doing anything great with your life.
Ages 22+ has been a very sour and horrible thing for my own personal dreams and ambitious. After college I’ve been conditioned to act in a manner that follows “social norms.” This rings true especially in my past job positions – I was “conditioned.” It sucked because I would see the people (bosses) who I worked for do exactly what I wanted to do in public… say what I wanted to say to others… and but when they did it they weren’t scrutinized or critiqued – they were affirmed.
I’m not writing this piece just blame others for my short comings. I’m also very consonant of the actions I’m currently taking that have put me in a position where I’m in now. A place called, in lack of a better term, failure.
Here are the reasons why I’m failing:
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